Mom’s not doing so well.

This photo of my mother was taken, I think, in 1995. I know it was shortly after her 60th birthday. It’s a glamour shot, where she got all made up with fancy clothes and jewelry and the photographer took extra time to get flattering shots. She got a lot of different pictures from this; I just wasn't thinking fast enough when I was at her house with her over Christmas to have her get them out.

I know looks are mostly a matter of genetics and not smoking, but I can’t help but think that someone this beautiful in her 6th decade is doing something right on the inside as well. Of course, I’m not prejudiced at all.

At the end of this past summer a cancerous tumor was found in her brain. The doctors said the average survival time from this diagnosis is one year.

I haven't written about it on Blogger before because when she was well my mother read this blog and I didn't want to make her feel worse than she already does. I wrote a couple notes in facebook and my friends there have been incredibly supportive. Thanks, guys!

Right after her diagnosis she had surgery to remove the tumor. Shortly after that she had some radiation and very mild chemotherapy to further treat the cancer. The plan was for her to recover from all of that and then enjoy herself until the cancer returns. Unfortunately, she's never recovered from the radiation and chemo. Ever since November she's been in a nursing home because she's been too weak to take care of herself. All of her blood counts are really low. Every 1 or 2 weeks she gets to feeling really bad, ends up in the hospital where they give her transfusions, and then she's back in the nursing home.

For Christmas, SKEA and I got to DRL’s house in Peoria very early Chrstmas Day. That afternoon we drove to Bloomington and took Mom to her house to open presents and have Christmas Dinner. We had a nice time and Mom seemed to do well, until about 7pm when she was very tired and asked to be taken back to the nursing home.

The next day, Friday, we picked Mom up again and this time we all went to Borders bookstore. I had sort of bailed on being creative with presents and just got everyone gift cards. But they were all great sports. Becky printed out online coupons for everyone and we had a nice time picking out books and music and sharing what we got. Then we went back to Mom’s house for left overs and games.

Saturday afternoon we picked Mom up from the nursing home and we all went to see The Tale of Despereaux. A fun movie, although we couldn't figure out why a land dominated by soup was called the Land of Door. After the movie we all went to Famous Dave’s for barbecue. It’s a fun place and one of Mom’s favorites. We were gratified to get Mom to eat more in one sitting that she had up until that point.

Sunday the plan was for SKEA and I to get an early start from Peoria and drive back to Kansas City. But Mom hasn't felt up to going to Church since this all started and mentioned a couple of times missing it and the new Pastor, who she liked a lot. So early in the morning we all got up, dressed and packed, to pick up Mom in time for Church. DRL stayed home to a well-deserved day of rest, and SKEA and I headed to Bloomington. She was really happy to go to church and everyone there was surprised and very happy to see her. After church we went to Panera, another of her favorites, and she ate her entire half-sandwich and cup of soup, which amazed us all.

Although it tired her out and her knee was really bothering her Sunday morning, she seemed to do well getting out everyday. She liked all the attention and enjoyed going out to eat. So I’m feeling a little guilty about not being back there to take her out to eat more often.

This morning I got an update from my brother, Dan (who’s doing an amazing job of taking care of her):

“ Mom went into the ER New Years eve, in a lot of pain from her right knee, which was very swollen. (The ER on New Year's eve is VERY interesting!!) They drained the knee, but also found she had a urinary tract infection, and her blood levels were low. They did admit her for transfusions, and also found she had a staph infection. They are going to keep her in the hospital over the weekend, and probably send her back to the nursing home on Monday.”

I’ll be flying back to the midwest sometime in the spring to see her again, possibly for my niece’s high school graduation.

In 1995 I was doing customer service work in an office of mostly women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. They all had glamour shots done and had a lot of fun bringing in all their pictures and talking about it. When I brought in the pictures of my mom, they put all of theirs away.