Truth

Still Life on Watercolor

by Tan Lie Cieng

Petrichor

Be You

1,500 year old Angel Oak tree in South Carolina.

Chateau de Gudanes

Cheetahs

Portland Japanese Garden

Photo by Josh Dagenais.

A Farewell to Arms

..."(the world) breaks everyone, (and those) it does not break it kills.”
   “It kills the very good and very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.”
- Earnest Hemingway
  A Farewell to Arms
  Alternate Ending No. 34

Hemingway's Alternate Endings to 'A Farewell to Arms' Are Now on Display

God is Awake

A Drop of Water

To gaze upon a drop of water is to behold the nature of all the waters of the universe. ~ Huang Po

Perfection

“Let go of your fantasy of perfection.”

“Perfection is the death of all good things, perfection is the death of pleasure, it’s the death of productivity, it’s the death of efficiency, it’s the death of joy. Perfection is just a bludgeon that goes around murdering everything good. Somebody once said I was disingenuous for saying this, because surely I try to make my work as good as it can be. And that’s absolutely true — but there’s a really big difference between “as good as it can be” and perfection.”

Fear is boring, and other tips for living a creative life

Dance

The Meaning of Life

Thinker

Pay Attention

Good Enough?

Religious Based Bigotry

   Today, I came across this article in Instinct magazine about a pop star “not agreeing with” the LGBT lifestyle because she “wasn't raised that way.” Instead of rolling my eyes and letting it go, it stuck with me and I started forming this  reply in my head:

   When my Mother said, "the blacks are taking over the town" and "we'd go to that park except the blacks are there" and "Grandma's hearing aid was stolen. One of the nurses is black" I didn't buy into it. I didn't think less of any of the people she was talking about. I thought she's judging people she knows nothing about. She's refusing to look at her own prejudices and I don't want to be like that. I looked at how I was raised, evaluated what influences were present, and decided what I want to carry with me into the future.

    When I tell someone I'm gay and I was made that way by my Creator I expect them to believe me. Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them."

    Knowing what it's like to be called a liar and judged arbitrarily for being gay by someone who doesn't know me, I decided I don't want to make the same mistake. So when someone tells me what it's like to be black in America and that white people are largely the cause of it, I believe them.

    And that has nothing to do with how I was raised.

My friend Beverly added this very thoughtful comment:

   While there have been change and enlightenment, unfortunately, LaPorsha's POV is too common amongst Black Americans. And, possibly, she's more "liberal" than most. And the holding on to these regressive ideas about homosexuality are harming the Black American community in very real ways. This inability to acknowledge the reality of homosexuality as an authentic, inseparable self that deserves understanding and respect is fueling the HIV/AIDS epidemic amongst all Black Americans (gay, straight, or other).

   Living on the down low out if fear and ignorance is killing the community body and soul.

   

Walk on the Beach

Phenomenal Woman

"Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me." - Maya Angelou

Be Kind

Life is a Blessing

Budapest Theater, Hungary

Snow in Pennsylvania

Photo by Maria Ria Zullo.

Sunrise

by Brett Beal.

Dance

King Douglas Photography

Not This

Dear Ones -

Most of us, at some point in our lives (unless we have done everything perfectly...which is: nobody) will have to face a terrible moment in which we realize that we have somehow ended up in the wrong place — or at least, in a very bad place.

Maybe we will have to admit that we are in the wrong job. Or the wrong relationship. With the wrong people around us. Living in the wrong neighborhood. Acting out on the wrong behaviors. Using the wrong substances. Pretending to believe things that we no longer believe.  Pretending to be something we were never meant to be.

This moment of realization is seldom fun. In fact, it's usually terrifying.

I call this moment of realization: NOT THIS.

Because sometimes that's all you know, at such a moment.

All you know is: NOT THIS.

Sometimes that's all you CAN know.

All you know is that some deep life force within you is saying, NOT THIS, and it won't be silenced.

Your body is saying: "NOT THIS."

Your heart is saying: "NOT THIS."

Your soul is saying: "NOT THIS."

But your brain can't bring itself to say "NOT THIS", because that would cause a serious problem. The problem is: You don't have a Plan B in place. This is the only life you have. This is the only job you have. This is the only spouse you have. This is the only house you have. Your brain says, "It may not be great, but we have to put up with it, because there are no other options." You're not sure how you got here — to this place of THIS — but you sure as hell don't know how to get out...

So your brain says: "WE NEED TO KEEP PUTTING UP WITH THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL WE HAVE."

But still, beating like a quiet drum, your body and your heart and your soul keep saying: NOT THIS...NOT THIS...NOT THIS.

I think some of the bravest people I have ever met were people who had the courage to say the words, "NOT THIS" outloud — even before they had an alternative plan.

People who walked out of bad situations without knowing if there was a better situation on the horizon.

People who looked at the life they were in, and they said, "I don't know what my life is supposed to be...but it's NOT THIS." And then they just...left.

I think my friend who walked out of a marriage after less than a year, and had to move back in with her mother (back into her childhood bedroom), and face the condemnation of the entire community while she slowly created a new life for herself. Everyone said, "If he's not good enough for you, who will be?" She didn't know. She didn't know anything about what her life would look like now. But it started with her saying: NOT THIS.

I think of my friend who took her three young children away from a toxic marriage, despite that fact that her husband supported her and the kids financially...and the four of them (this woman and her three children) all slept in one bed together in a tiny studio apartment for a few years, while she struggled to build a new life. She was poor, she was scared, she was alone. But she had to listen to the voices within her that said, NOT THIS.

I think of friends who walked out of jobs — with no job waiting for them. Because they said NOT THIS.

I think of friends who quit school, rather than keep pretending that they cared about this field of study anymore. And yes, they lost the scholarship. And yes, they ended up working at a fast food restaurant, while everyone else was getting degrees. And yes, it took them a while to figure out where to go next. But there was a relief at last in just surrendering to the holy, non-negotiable truth of NOT THIS.

I think of friends who bravely walked into AA meetings and just fell apart in front of a room full of total strangers, and said, NOT THIS.

I think of a friend who pulled her children out of Sunday School in the middle of church one Sunday because she'd had it with the judgment and self-righteousness of this particular church. Yes, it was her community. Yes, it was her tribe. But she physically couldn't be in that building anymore without feeling that she would explode. She didn't know where she was going, spiritually or within her community, but she said, NOT THIS. And walked out.

Rationally, it's crazy to abandon a perfectly good life (or at least a familiar life) in order to jump into a mystery. No sane person would advise you to make such a leap, with no Plan B in place. We are supposed to be careful. We are supposed to be prudent.

And yet....

And yet.

If you keep ignoring the voices within you that say NOT THIS, just because you don't know what to do, instead...you may end up stuck in NOT THIS forever.

You don't need to know where you are going to admit that where you are standing right now is wrong.

The bravest thing to say can be these two words.

What comes next?

I don't know. You don't know. Nobody knows. It might be worse. It might be better. But whatever it is...?  It's NOT THIS.

ONWARD,
LG

Beach

Photo by Marisa Franco.

Clouds

Photo by Dirk Gonthier.

Sunset

Photo by Andrew Steuer.

The Color Purple

Photo by Markus Disler.

Hyacinth

Photo by Mio Romanic.

Autumn

Photo by Paul Sprague.

Reflection

Photo by Jae Youn Ryu

Help Each Other

Curiosity

Curiosity is the truth and the way of creative living.

" Whenever you’re told to “follow your passion,” it can be very intimidating, and it can be very confusing, because sometimes passion isn’t very clear, sometimes passions burn hot and then burn out, sometimes your passion changes, sometimes on a very sad Tuesday morning when you didn’t sleep well, the idea of passion just feels so out of reach that you can’t even imagine ever accessing it. And yet curiosity is this faithful, steadfast, friendly and accessible energy that is never far out of reach. There’s never a day where you couldn’t dredge up some tiny little fragment of interest in something in the world, no matter how modest it may seem, no matter how humble, no matter how much it might seem to be unconnected to anything else that you’re doing, no matter how random. Passion demands full commitment out of you. You’ve got to get divorced, and shave your head, and change your name, and move to Nepal and start an orphanage. And maybe you don’t need to do that this week. But curiosity doesn’t take anything from you. Curiosity just gives, and all it gives you are clues, just a beautiful thread, a tiny little clue from the scavenger hunt that you’re unique here in life."  -  Elizabeth Gilbert

Fear is boring, and other tips for living a creative life

Tulips

At Mama's Kitchen this morning.

The Prime of Our Lives is NOT About Finding All the Answers — Brene Brown on Living in the Questions

I’ve heard people say “we teach what we need to learn.” I’m pretty sure they’re on to something. As a vulnerability researcher, what I’ve learned and now write about uncertainty, risk and “showing up” has profoundly changed my life.

From the time I was a young child through my late thirties, I believed that growing up was about finding certainty and solving the mysteries of life. It seemed to me that the end game was answers and control – especially control over important outcomes and what people think. The formula was pretty clear: Vulnerability is weakness, self worth is based on what you achieve, and accomplishments and acquisitions bring joy and meaning.

What’s spectacular about my life today, at forty-seven, is finally realizing that the prime of our lives is not about answers – it starts when we finally allow ourselves to soften into the mysteries and live in the questions. For me, the softening came after a long, painful midlife unraveling; fueled by the exhaustion that comes from too much pretending, pleasing, and perfecting.

For me, midlife was not a crisis, it was an unraveling. By definition, you can’t control or manage an unraveling. You can’t cure it with control any more than the acquisitions, accomplishments, and alpha-parenting of our thirties cured our deep longing for permission to slow down and be imperfect.

I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

"I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen."

Taking off the armor and putting down the weapons requires us to find the courage to be vulnerable and imperfect. It means showing up even when I’m not comfortable or sure. It means trying new things even though I feel awkward and uncool. Growing into my gifts has meant rediscovering creativity. Today I paint and take pictures and get my “craft on” with my children. I also practice setting and holding boundaries. Saying no is hard when you’re trying to please everyone, but it’s way easier than feeling resentful. My boundary mantra is, “Choose discomfort over resentment.” If you are coming toward me with a PTO sign-up sheet and you see me quickly close my eyes and start chanting – you’ll know exactly what I’m saying.

Re-engaging with the world from a place of worthiness – from a place of “I am enough” – has meant owning all of my stories. Even the ones I orphaned along the way because they didn’t fit with who I thought I was supposed to be. Studying topics like shame, courage, and vulnerability has taught me that if we are brave enough to explore the darkness, we are certain to discover the infinite power of our light. And for me, being in my prime is all about love and light.

Photo by Peter Freed.

To survive my family...

Sunset Over San Juan Islands

Photo by Bill Evans.

Flowers in the Garden

Photo by Craig Deutsch.

Mountains

Photo by Dan Hughes.

Things That Make You Feel Small

Image by NASA of the space shuttle.

Uncomfortable Thoughts

Pollinator

Photo by Laurie Rubin.

Bubba

Photo by Craig Deutsch.

Joy

Photo by my friend Peter Thomas of two of his kids.

Fear

“You can’t get rid of fear, but do remember that fear is boring.

   This is my fundamental opposition to the mythological dream of fearlessness, and the frustration I feel whenever fearlessness is held up as a virtue. I just feel like that it’s the wrong battle. Because for one thing, you don’t want to get rid of your fear; you need it to keep you alive. We’re all here because we had fear that preserved us. So there’s a little bit of a lack of appreciation for fear when we say that we want to be fearless. But then, fear is the oldest, deepest and least subtle part of our emotional life, and so therefore it’s boring. It’s dull. It doesn’t have any nuance. So have a little conversation with your fear when it starts to get riled up when you’re trying to do something creative. Let it know, “I’m just trying to write a poem, no one’s going to die.” But don’t try to go to war against it, that’s such a waste of energy. Just converse with it and then move on.”         - Elizabeth Gilbert

Fear is boring, and other tips for living a creative life

Butterfly

Photo by Laurie Rubin

Summertime Reading Glasses

Costco now has shaded reading glasses for your summer beach/book bag. They're dual vision so you can glance up at that hottie walking by.

Wheat Field

Photo by Jan Poloni

Gig Harbor

by Patty Mason.

Alpenglow

Beautiful Alpenglow on Mt.Rainier.

Photo credit - Inner Eye Photography By Gowtham Pannala

Alpenglow (from German: Alpenglühen) is an optical phenomenon in which a horizontal red glowing band is observed on the horizon opposite to the sun. This effect occurs when the Sun is just below the horizon. Alpenglow is easiest to observe when mountains are illuminated but can also be observed when the sky is illuminated through backscattering. - Wikipedia

Butterfly

Photo by my friend Michelle Corlew taken at the Rockford Conservatory.