Knowledge is Only a Rumor

Creativity embeds knowledge so that it can become practice. We move what we’re learning from our heads to our hearts through our hands. We are born makers, and creativity is the ultimate act of integration — it is how we fold our experiences into our being… The Asaro tribe of Indonesia and Papua New Guinea has a beautiful saying: “Knowledge is only a rumor until it lives in the muscle.”

–Brené Brown, from Rising Strong 

The Physics of Vulnerability

“If we are brave enough often enough we will fail; this is the physics of vulnerability.”   - Brene Brown

On Marriage

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

- Kahlil Gibran

Posted on Facebook by Brene Brown

Love is What You Do

Divided People

The Prime of Our Lives is NOT About Finding All the Answers — Brene Brown on Living in the Questions

I’ve heard people say “we teach what we need to learn.” I’m pretty sure they’re on to something. As a vulnerability researcher, what I’ve learned and now write about uncertainty, risk and “showing up” has profoundly changed my life.

From the time I was a young child through my late thirties, I believed that growing up was about finding certainty and solving the mysteries of life. It seemed to me that the end game was answers and control – especially control over important outcomes and what people think. The formula was pretty clear: Vulnerability is weakness, self worth is based on what you achieve, and accomplishments and acquisitions bring joy and meaning.

What’s spectacular about my life today, at forty-seven, is finally realizing that the prime of our lives is not about answers – it starts when we finally allow ourselves to soften into the mysteries and live in the questions. For me, the softening came after a long, painful midlife unraveling; fueled by the exhaustion that comes from too much pretending, pleasing, and perfecting.

For me, midlife was not a crisis, it was an unraveling. By definition, you can’t control or manage an unraveling. You can’t cure it with control any more than the acquisitions, accomplishments, and alpha-parenting of our thirties cured our deep longing for permission to slow down and be imperfect.

I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

"I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen."

Taking off the armor and putting down the weapons requires us to find the courage to be vulnerable and imperfect. It means showing up even when I’m not comfortable or sure. It means trying new things even though I feel awkward and uncool. Growing into my gifts has meant rediscovering creativity. Today I paint and take pictures and get my “craft on” with my children. I also practice setting and holding boundaries. Saying no is hard when you’re trying to please everyone, but it’s way easier than feeling resentful. My boundary mantra is, “Choose discomfort over resentment.” If you are coming toward me with a PTO sign-up sheet and you see me quickly close my eyes and start chanting – you’ll know exactly what I’m saying.

Re-engaging with the world from a place of worthiness – from a place of “I am enough” – has meant owning all of my stories. Even the ones I orphaned along the way because they didn’t fit with who I thought I was supposed to be. Studying topics like shame, courage, and vulnerability has taught me that if we are brave enough to explore the darkness, we are certain to discover the infinite power of our light. And for me, being in my prime is all about love and light.

Photo by Peter Freed.

FOMO

Quote: Brene Brown

“We don’t want to be victims in the story. We don’t even want to be heroes in a story. We want to be the author of the story. And you can’t do that unless you own the story and dig into it.” - Brene Brown

Quote:

“Unused creativity is not benign. It metastasizes. It turns into grief, rage, judgement, sorrow, shame.

We are, by nature, creative.”

Dr. Brene Brown

Brene Brown: Shame and Vulerability

“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.

Your raise can be on the table, your promotion can be on the table, your title can be on the table, your grades can be on the table. But keep your worthiness for love and belonging off the table. And then ironically everything else just takes care of itself.”

“Be brave and vulnerable.”

“You can’t raise children who have more shame resilience than you do. Because even if you don’t shame them, and even if you are actively trying to raise them feeling good about who they are, they’re never going to treat themselves better than you treat yourself. If you want to raise a daughter with a really healthy body image, you better love your body as a mother, because that counts way more than looking at your daughter and saying “You’re beautiful and your body is beautiful.” All that matters to her is how she sees you acting with your own body. We can’t give children what we don’t have. We have to be the adults we hope they grow up to be.”

“Connection is why we're here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”

“ Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, and of love.”

“Vulnerability is not weakness.”

“Vulnerability is emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It's our most accurate measurement of courage.”

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”

We have to talk about shame.

Shame is an epidemic in our courage.