"We can hardly fail if communication begins with a smile, continues with love and civility, is leavened with a little humor when appropriate, and enhanced with empathy and compassion."

Brenda Davies, M.D.

Photo by Heriberto.

"If you fall out of the boat put your feet up, lie back and relax. Your life jacket knows which way is up. Let the river hold you. You won't drown."

Brenda Davies, M.D.
"The 7 Healing Chakras"
Quoting a Zambezi River guide.

Trip to Julian, April 1, 2007

Sunday afternoon Heriberto asked me where I wanted to go for my birthday. He gave me the options of either some North County beach, Julian, or the Anza Borrego Desert. Although beautiful, I've been to both the Carlsbad beaches and the Anza Borrego Desert, and neither is known for the food there. I've heard a lot about Julian, but had never been there before, AND it's known as a food destination, especially for the apple pie.

About an hour drive from San Diego along 2 lane roads that wind through beautiful country of hills, low mountains, horse farms, orchards, and this fishing lake, Julian is a popular destination for folks looking for an easy destination to escape the city. At 4000 feet up it experiences all the seasons. Chuck and Patrick stayed overnight there a few weeks ago and woke up to snow. When we got there both sides of the one main street through town were filled with motorcycles. We ate barbecue for lunch, walked around town, going into a few shops, taking pictures, then stopped for apple pie for dessert. And what an apple pie. It was amazing. It's not better than Becky's terrific pie she made for Thanksgiving, but it is real close. Before we ate our pie Heri asked for a candle that he lit and put in the middle for me to make a wish and blow out.

I love these birthdays that get stretched out over several days. Keith took me out to dinner to a newly opened restaurant Tuesday. Thursday Skip took me to a Brazilian restaurant that I'd been by but hadn't been to yet. And Sunday I got to go to Julian for the first time, do a little sight seeing, took some pictures, went for a short hike, and had a wonderful drive.

Two years ago, while working at Wawanesa, my supervisor and team forgot my birthday. Though initially disappointing, it turned out great. Two of the girls that sat on either side of me took pity and brought in a cake the next day. My team became aware of their oversight and took me out to lunch the day after that. And the next Sunday Skip took me to lunch after church with a bunch of friends and we had a great time.

Happy Birthday to... ...Me!

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.

- Goethe

Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles

I have found YouTube and other video sites to be wonderful sources of entertainment and pop culture that you wouldn't otherwise come across due to network TV's myoptic vision. But, there's a lot of junk to wade through. Fortunately, some are able to sort through it all or otherwise find out which ones are woth viewing and alert the rest of us. One of the blogs I like to read had a link to video of a piece sung by the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles during a recent concert. The original creator of the video doesn't allow the video itself to be posted, but if you click here you'll be able to view it. It's Gilbert and Sullivan's "Three Little Maids", which was written for 3 women with really high voices. Enjoy!

No Parking...yet.

This is a bunch of card board panels one of the homeless guys has taped together to make a sort of tent. He was still in there as I took this picture early one Friday morning. This tent is frequently "parked" in the lot where I park downtown for work. I first noticed it shortly after I started working there. The first time I saw it he had it perpendicular across two parking spaces. The parking lot attendant nicely asked him to take it down soon and he was politely complying. It's a popular parking lot, fills up quickly, and they need the spaces. Some time later I saw it set up in a no parking area, which I thought was the best place. But lately he's been setting it up like this so it only takes up once space. What prompted the photo this morning, and made me laugh, was the two orange cones. Is the parking lot attendant so nice and concientious to make sure those spending the night won't get hit? Or is the homeless guy so detail oriented he not only puts together a pretty nice shelter and parks it appopriately, but he also takes the extra step to create a safe sleeping zone?

I didn't know...

I didn't know people would think everything was about them.
I didn't know they would be so judgmental about everyone else.
I didn't know I would be blamed for their ignorance.
I didn't know people will think only their own feelings are valid.
I didn't know we should do more for strangers than for our family.
I didn't know they could look at you but see someone else.
I didn't know people would refuse to see any point of view but their own.
I didn't know they could see an act of kindness as an act of selfishness.
I didn't know they will berate your poor competitive instinct, then sulk when you start winning.
I didn't know every corner of the country was interesting to visit, except the one I live in.
I didn't know that everyone will be interested in your news only if it's good. Or if it's really, really bad.
I didn't know people will fail to see how anyone could have an opinion that was at all different from their own.
I didn't know they will feel justified in giving out their own advice, but feel no obligation to consider yours.
I didn't know that when you open up to someone, they'll shoot you down, then complain that you never open up to them.
I didn't know everyone wants an audience, but will refuse to applaud you; even if, especially if, you're better.
I didn't know that if someone recognizes that they owe an apology, they'll do anything to squirm out of giving it.
I didn't know they would always insist on their own way, then wonder why I had no answer when they finally asked me what I wanted.
I didn't know they could praise your many good qualities, then reject you completely when you prove to be human.
I didn't know they would point out all of your faults, but refuse to acknowledge any of their own.
I didn't know a man could become the very person he complained about.
I didn't know life would demand your best, would force you to grow in so many ways, then fail to be impressed by any of it.
I didn't know that people could take and take, and you had to give more and more, and the more you gave, the more they felt they were owed, until you're exhausted. But it never occurs to them that they should give anything back. They wonder what's wrong with you; why did you stop?
I didn't know I would do these things, too.

The Chief's Last Dance

The video above is of Chief Illiniwek, the symbol of the University of Illinois, performing the traditional dance at half time of a football game earlier this fall. After each half time show by the Marching Illini, the band would form into 4 long lines and then start the "3 in 1". It's a series of 3 songs in a row without a break in between. You'll hear the band start to sing the first song. It's a cheer based on the Illinois Song. Then while playing the same song with their instruments, the band marches towards the north end zone, collapses the formation, then at the start of the Chief's dance marches back down the field forming giant letters that spell out "ILLINI". You'll see in the video that while this is happening the Chief comes out, sneaks through the band, then at the start of the dance bursts out and starts his dance down the entire field, then goes back to the 50 yard line. There he raises his arms and the band and all the fans in the stadium join in singing "Hail to the Chief". Then the Chief repeats his dance in the middle of the field. At the end of the dance the Chief folds his arms and walks off the field.

I'm posting this now because February 21st, at the home basketball game half time show in Champaign, the Chief danced for the last time. Since 1926 the Chief has represented the University's heart and sole and has always been treated with the utmost respect. Not a mascot, the Chief only came out at half time for his dance. Native Americans made the Chief's costume and presented it to the University during a football half time. I was a member of the Marching Illini from 1981-1984 and was on the field as part of the band during the presentation ceremony. Native Americans have been among those who've portrayed the Chief over the years.

Since the late '80s some have complained that the Chief is a racist mascot and offensive to Native Americans. This certainly applies to many mascots, even most; my High School's "Purple Raiders" represented by an Indian head needed to go and has been exchanged for a different mascot. But Chief Illiniwek; whose dance is based on Native American dance and whose costume is authentic, never led cheers, never cavorted in the stands, didn't pose for pictures with fans; only acted with dignity, was only treated with respect. It's true the University could've handled the whole issue better. It should have aggressively developed a Native American Studies program from the beginning. And some of the university representatives who defended the Chief acted more like they were defending their right to beer instead of representing the Chief. But I think taking a respected Native American Symbol out of the public's eye is more detrimental than helpful.

After staunchly defending the Chief for many years, the University of Illinois, under sanctions from the NCAA that don't allow any post season games to be held in Champaign while the Chief exists, finally decided their best interests would be served by retiring the Chief. Under these conditions I agree with the University's decision. I just disagree with the NCAA's misguided interference.

The video below is of the Chief's final performance. It starts out with some clips of past portrayals of the Chief. One of them you'll see is of a Native American woman who was the Chief during World War II.

McAfee out, Kapersky in !

I'm once again able to log into my blog and add new posts. Whew!!! I was very frustrated at not being able to do anything. It started almost 2 weeks ago, about the time my computer security software, McAfee, did a major update. I went through everything with a fine tooth comb and still couldn't log in to Blogger. I could log in on other computers, just not my own. So annoying! Finally, tonight I decided to uninstall my McAfee security software. And sure enough, after doing that I was able to log in to Blogger just like before. I heard about Kapersky from another student in my computer literacy class who had good things to say about it. I've signed up for a 30 day trial and am still able to log in. I've heard McAfee doesn't uninstall cleanly so I'm hoping I don't run into any stray files causing problems. And yes, I could have tried to contact McAfee customer service, but I didn't feel like going around in circles with someone from India who wouldn't understand my problem and certainly couldn't fix it right away. I'm very relieved and plan to get back to posting something nearly everyday.